Tag Archives: happy

Are You Happy?

It’s a thought that came to me the other night when I said “I’m Happy” in my last post.

Answer this for me:
When someone asks you “How are you?” do you say “I’m happy” or “I’m okay”?
I only realized I always answer either with: okay/ fine/ tired/ great/ stressed/ sick/ better than yesterday/ could be better. Sometimes I’ll admit I’m feeling a little down… But I never say “I’m Happy”.
I noticed that when I extend the question to someone else, their response is always something along the similar lines of: “I’m doing okay/ fine/ tired/ etc…”

Does no one ever say “I am happy” anymore? Does okay/fine/great = happy? And if we are happy, then why don’t we just say it? Why do we say something so… I don’t know, non-committal, like “I’m fine”?
Is it because it’s no longer the social norm to say “I’m feeling happy today, thanks for asking, how are you”? Is it because it could be taken as flaunting something someone else might not be feeling?

Now… I’m not saying that I’ve been unhappy but does not being unhappy automatically mean you’re happy? I know what I felt the other night with my friends was genuine happiness and I don’t feel that every day. If I’m not unhappy nor am I feeling genuinely happy then what am I feeling most days? Apathetic? Neutral? Do my bursts of energy count as happiness? Or is that just excitement over whatever it is that caught my attention?

I think it’s kind of sad. How many days have gone by and I just coasted through? How many days have passed and I didn’t take advantage of being able to feel something positive? Sure around company you can laugh when something’s funny, feel sad or disappointed when the situation calls for it, but once you’re alone what do you feel?

And, I’m not saying you have to tell everyone ‘I’m happy’ all the time or even feel happy every day. I know there are those days when you’ve just reached your limit, but why do I feel as though the majority of the people today are only “okay” most of the time when they could be feeling better by being “happy”? Why do I feel as though this society we live in is prone to looking towards the negative instead of the positive? (I know I’m prone to doing that and it’s something I’ve been trying (and failing) to change)

Hell, I could be making myself a happier person but for some reason I thought I was comfortable with how I was. After the other evening, I know I’d rather feel like that on most days instead of how I’ve been feeling until now.

Am I making any sense or am I just over thinking everything like I usually do (I swear, sometimes it sucks living inside your mind). It might be a little sad, but to be honest with you, I had a good cry about all of this. I think I worried myself because I have gone through bouts of feeling extremely sad for months on end for no apparent reason and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I convinced myself that I was happy when I wasn’t. Maybe that is the case and I’m in denial, I don’t know. Maybe I just settled for feeling “alright” all the time because it’s easier being apathetic about everything… I’m honestly lost…

What I do know is: since I’m aware of how I want to be feeling on a more regular basis, I’m going to work towards that. I don’t want to coast through life the way I have been. I want to be happy. And not the “I’m okay” ‘happy’ either. I want the real ‘happy’.

What do you think? Am I crazy?

I’m probably crazy…


Filed under Life, Personal

I Love My Team

I feel like I haven’t written about any… I don’t know… life stuff lately?? The last few posts on my blog have been about why I haven’t updated. Belated answers to emails. General interests, opinions, and stress. Let’s change that for something a little light-hearted shall we?

Last night my co-workers organized a bowling night/reunion/going away get together. And I have to admit it was the most fun I’ve had in a long while. I think it’s because it was something a tiny bit different from the usual bar thing (not that we didn’t end up at a bar later or use the bar at the bowling alley…) and also the great company.

It was my first time going bowling since I was 9. And it was my first time using the non kid balls hahaha. I can tell you now that I’m terrible at bowling. But! At least I’m consistent in my bowling skills. We played three rounds, my final score was 45 for the two first rounds and 50 for the last and I was only in last place once! So that’s a plus. Imagine I had a competitive personality when it came to sports? (I’m only competitive about other things) I’d probably be feeling bummed the whole night. Instead I was extremely happy every time I managed to hit a pin.

The whole night we were just bonding as a team… actually, I like the word family better. I really love them all. It was so strange because it was the first time we were all very affectionate with each other, or rather, the first time we were extra affectionate with each other (I mean, there was the occasional hug and what not but that’s about it). I think that was partly because I usually only ever see them in work or at a bar (it’s hard to be “affectionate” at a bar I find), and partly because… well… I’m very rarely affectionate with people in the first place.

Last night was full of hugs and laughter and cuddles and more hugs! I can’t even elaborate on all the crazy shenanigans that went on at the bowling place, but I can swear all that laughing was probably equivalent to an abs workout. When we left the bowling alley in search for a place to eat I somehow ended up getting a piggieback ride from one of my co-workers which invoked a few others to pair off and have piggieback rides and soon we were running down the street like we were re-enacting Mario Cart… except. it was piggieback racing? People looked at us strangely but that’s okay. They probably thought we were drunk (which some of us were). Once we managed to get a table big enough for us (at the third bar we ventured too), we just mellowed out and bonded over beer, food, and interesting conversations.

Seriously. I couldn’t have asked for a better night.
I love love love my team. I wouldn’t trade them for the world and I will be sad to leave them one day (or have them leave us to head  towards their own goals).

I’m happy.
And I feel like I don’t say that enough. Strange isn’t it. That’s definitely something I’ll be thinking about.
That’s all for today~ I just really wanted to share my excitement/happiness/whatever the heck this emotion I’m feeling is. LOVE~ I’m spreading the love~ haha. 🙂


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Filed under Life, Personal